Thursday, February 16, 2012
Monday, September 26, 2011
Natural Hospital Birth
Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds by Cynthia Gabriel is a fantastic resource for women wanting a natural experience, but also the peace of mind of birthing in a hospital with all the technology available in the small chance that anything would go wrong. It is empowering, accessible and smart. Gabriel's passion for birth is evident and she knows her stuff - it is a great resource for first time birthing mothers because she references so many of the natural birth schools of thought. It is also one of the first birthing books I've read that gives an extremely detailed account of not only the physical stages of each part of labor, but also the emotional stages women might go through as well.
Gabriel has an extensive section on birth plans and why they are important. She guides the reader through questions to write a dream birth, a detailed birth plan for themselves and their support (partner/doula), and a medical team birth plan (much shorter and focused). She even recommends how to phrase certain things to ensure a higher level of respect and cooperation in a hospital birth setting. It encourages a partnership between parents and medical staff to bring about the best birth experience for families.
It is a great contribution to the natural birth literature out there and a must read for birthing women!
Gabriel has an extensive section on birth plans and why they are important. She guides the reader through questions to write a dream birth, a detailed birth plan for themselves and their support (partner/doula), and a medical team birth plan (much shorter and focused). She even recommends how to phrase certain things to ensure a higher level of respect and cooperation in a hospital birth setting. It encourages a partnership between parents and medical staff to bring about the best birth experience for families.
It is a great contribution to the natural birth literature out there and a must read for birthing women!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Toe Jams in the Bathtub
My brave, fearless three-year-old daughter. The daughter who always has to go say “hello” to the African hissing cockroaches at the zoo. The one who passed up touching a hamster and a bird to touch a giant African millipede during her preschool mom and me class. My daughter who climbs furniture and playground equipment with ease and seemingly no fear. Who likes to dig and play in the dirt and sand, no matter what creepy things lay hidden. Who would probably jump into a swimming pool without reservations or fear of drowning. Who loves to watch the BBC Planet Earth documentary series, even the parts where the hunter gets his prey, with great interest and no fear.
This same brave daughter has a weakness. During bath time (which she loves), if she sees a “toe jam” (one of those teeny-tiny pieces of sock fuzz that gets caught between your toes) floating in the water, she immediately screams and leaps out of the tub.
“Toe Jam!” she shrieks and points, refusing to get back in until I can scoop it out, which isn’t as easy as you’d think. She always checks her toes for them before she goes in, so she is okay touching them then. But if she misses one and it ends up floating in the bath water, it’s suddenly transformed into something scary.
“Honey, don’t worry. The toe jam won’t hurt you.” I always say while trying to scoop it out. As with scooping anything tiny out of water, this usually takes several tries.
“But I’m scared of toe jams,” she says earnestly and without embarrassment or shame. And she is. No doubt about it. You can see it clearly in her body language and of course, in the fact that she jumps out of the bath and clings to me until it is gone. Do I tease her about this? Of course not. Even if it seems silly to me, I acknowledge and respect her experience and try to help quell her fears.
This fear of toe jams stands as a reminder to me about our fears as adults. We can be struck with fear while walking down a dark alley in an unfamiliar area of a city or when awoken suddenly by a loud noise in the middle of the night. Our hearts begin to race as adrenaline pumps through our bodies, preparing for fight or flight - the survival response. As adults, we are not embarrassed by this natural response to rational fear. It does not cause shame or induce ridicule from others.
Logical-minded adults often also experience irrational fears, their equivalent to toe jams in the bathtub. Fear of harmless insects or of the dark. Even though these fears may not be based on a real threat, they are no less real. They are capabale of triggering the same physical fight or flight response in us. Unlike my daughter, however, most adults are often ashamed of these fears. They keep them hidden away, embarrassed to admit them to friends or family.
I have to ask: why? If it is a natural part of human nature to be afraid, regardless of whether the threat of danger is real or imagined, why hide these fears away? Why not share them? And allow something that could separate us further from each other, instead, through the shared intimacy of vulnerability, bring us closer together?
So, what are you afraid of? Next time fear strikes (you or someone you know), think about toe jams in the bathtub and let it guide your response.
This same brave daughter has a weakness. During bath time (which she loves), if she sees a “toe jam” (one of those teeny-tiny pieces of sock fuzz that gets caught between your toes) floating in the water, she immediately screams and leaps out of the tub.
“Toe Jam!” she shrieks and points, refusing to get back in until I can scoop it out, which isn’t as easy as you’d think. She always checks her toes for them before she goes in, so she is okay touching them then. But if she misses one and it ends up floating in the bath water, it’s suddenly transformed into something scary.
“Honey, don’t worry. The toe jam won’t hurt you.” I always say while trying to scoop it out. As with scooping anything tiny out of water, this usually takes several tries.
“But I’m scared of toe jams,” she says earnestly and without embarrassment or shame. And she is. No doubt about it. You can see it clearly in her body language and of course, in the fact that she jumps out of the bath and clings to me until it is gone. Do I tease her about this? Of course not. Even if it seems silly to me, I acknowledge and respect her experience and try to help quell her fears.
This fear of toe jams stands as a reminder to me about our fears as adults. We can be struck with fear while walking down a dark alley in an unfamiliar area of a city or when awoken suddenly by a loud noise in the middle of the night. Our hearts begin to race as adrenaline pumps through our bodies, preparing for fight or flight - the survival response. As adults, we are not embarrassed by this natural response to rational fear. It does not cause shame or induce ridicule from others.
Logical-minded adults often also experience irrational fears, their equivalent to toe jams in the bathtub. Fear of harmless insects or of the dark. Even though these fears may not be based on a real threat, they are no less real. They are capabale of triggering the same physical fight or flight response in us. Unlike my daughter, however, most adults are often ashamed of these fears. They keep them hidden away, embarrassed to admit them to friends or family.
I have to ask: why? If it is a natural part of human nature to be afraid, regardless of whether the threat of danger is real or imagined, why hide these fears away? Why not share them? And allow something that could separate us further from each other, instead, through the shared intimacy of vulnerability, bring us closer together?
So, what are you afraid of? Next time fear strikes (you or someone you know), think about toe jams in the bathtub and let it guide your response.
Mommy Brain
Mommy brain is the phrase used to describe the female brain after childbirth when a host of postpartum hormones, lack of sleep and the reality of the responsibility of nurturing a human being set in. This trifecta often results in blank stares in response to perfectly simple questions or a black hole in your mind when trying to retrieve a certain word or phrase. I have definitely experienced "mommy brain" since the birth of my first daughter in 2008.
However, there are also countless things I've realized I would never have thought about if I hadn't become a mother. This, too, I think of as mommy brain, but without the bad reputation. These include all sorts of thoughts and reflections about life and humanity that surface in the everyday acts of raising my daughters. Since I am a writer at heart, I've felt the need to capture some of these revelations in the written word, whether they be thoughts about cloth diapers or human emotion. So, I'm going to start posting them here.
Project "mommy brain" is born.
However, there are also countless things I've realized I would never have thought about if I hadn't become a mother. This, too, I think of as mommy brain, but without the bad reputation. These include all sorts of thoughts and reflections about life and humanity that surface in the everyday acts of raising my daughters. Since I am a writer at heart, I've felt the need to capture some of these revelations in the written word, whether they be thoughts about cloth diapers or human emotion. So, I'm going to start posting them here.
Project "mommy brain" is born.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Arms Wide Open
Literary Mama has published my review of Patricia Harman's Arms Wide Open on their blog. Check it out! It's a great read.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
PaniK
More to Lose, will appear in the Help Inspire Others Project anthology, PaniK: Candid Stories of Life Altering Experiences Surrounding Pregnancy, slated to release in September 2011. Stay tuned!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Recipe for an Anthology
Recipe for an Anthology, an article I co-wrote with Susan Koefod, is featured in A View from the Loft. It was a great opportunity to reflect on the process of self-publishing Let Them Eat Crepes and hopefully share some advice for others out there thinking about taking the plunge. Enjoy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
